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[04 Apr 2006|12:54am] hahaaaaaaaahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ahahhhhhhhhhhhh ! destroy it?

[03 Apr 2006|12:09am] i juz wanna lock myself up in my room dun call me, dun look for me, dun miss me cos its not gonna be of any use.. all i really want is some attention.. destroy it?

[27 Mar 2006|01:39am] y shl i care so much if no1 cares abt me? at least i dont feel tat any1 cares. who need ppl ard u when no1 gives a damn abt how u feel. number 1 thing on my mind.. i wan to fuckin quit sch and lock myself up in my room isolating myself from the rest of the world. i wish i cld lose my memory right now. no! i wish every1 will lose their memory and 4get a guy named victor xie shanwen ever existed in the world. so what! oh yes i have a stupid attitude. i can have mood swings. if tats the case so what thats me why care! juz fuckin let me be since all of u nvr give a damn abt me. like all of u know what am i goin thru stop guessin how i feel. how wont know how much i wish i was dead, how i wish i was in some place no1 knows me. stop fuckin ask if im ok since u know im not ok. 1 moment ur concern the next moment u rather ignore than what's up with all the "i care" shit.u can all fuckin play ur game and do what every fuckin things u guys do best. fuck u all fuck every1. fuck myself. life really seem meaninless to me. sucks puttin up a smile when its nvr real. dont act like u all care if u nvr cared it makes me feel worst. destroy it?

[15 Mar 2006|12:33am] yes i still miss her.. 3 mths goin 4 .. destroy it?

[15 Mar 2006|12:19am] woah life sucks =D destroy it?

[12 Jan 2006|10:47am] blocked me frm msn i guess.. been almost 2 weeks u aint online anymore.. we aint speakin to each other anymore.. this sure suck.. u still say u dont hate me and ur there for me. looks like it aint happening.. its juz something to shut me up... this sure suck.. 2006 the start of a fucked up year destroy it?

[10 Jan 2006|10:52pm] haiz weeks pass.. ur still the only person on my mind.. everytime i slp.. i dream of u with me.... everything was perfect.. but in the end i juz wake and and i have to face reality.. u aint dere for me.. haiz carol.. i really miss u.. u ever told me ur workin at bugis.. now everyday i walk pass dere i nvr dare to walk ard.. im afraid.. im afriad ill see u .. i duno wad to do.. i really wan to see u again.. but im afraid.. i really miss u.. ur the onli girl tat makes me feel this way.. ur worth every tear of mine.. 1 dream| destroy it?

[03 Jan 2006|12:10am] haiz.. somehow i feel ur nick is meant for me.. really sucks.. wish u all the best although i cant be there for u... i will be there.. onli if u ask.. always love u destroy it?

[01 Jan 2006|12:34am] haiz.. its the start of year 2006.. wish i was celebrating this day with u .. it really hurts.. my chest feels really tight.. really heavy.. i really miss u.. i wish i cld see u right now smiling at me.. it really hurts.. destroy it?

[31 Dec 2005|12:25am] haiz.. after so many days its still the same.. is it goin to turn for the better? i really miss u.. i duno y.. but today thoughts of me gettin into accidents and serious injuries keep flashin in my mind. i really wish to get hospitalised.. shut myself out frm the rest of the world and let me be alone.. haiz really love u really miss u.. when will this ever stop.. its killing me destroy it?

[29 Dec 2005|12:10am] haiz 4th day since it happen.. it gets worst as the day goes.. when will we chat again happily w/o any worries again.. i really miss u destroy it?

[27 Dec 2005|11:00pm] suddenly i feel i lost all meaning in life.. it sucks feelin lidat.. can we stop treatin each other like this anymore.. pls hai destroy it?

[27 Dec 2005|01:12am] this day sure sucked.. it hurts holding back my tears in public.. haii.. its really so different w/o u anymore.. i wake up w/o seein ur msg on my hp and w/o u wishin me gd nite b4 i close my eyes.. how i wish things were back the way it was.. will it ever happen? i wish i knew wads on ur mind.. maybe u told me the truth and i juz cant accept it. i really wanna let u go so u will be happy.. but i cant. im sry im a fuckin selfish guy.. i juz want to keep u by my side nvr to let u go.. will u let me prove to u tat i will be the 1 tat give u happinest? my bros are outside watchin tv right now.. dun feel like joinin them.. its not the same.. ur still dere on my mind.. r u thinkin of me now? ur there on my mind since last nite.. i coudln't slp.. everytime i close my eyes i think of u.. i think of the way u look when u slp.. i think of the time we spend tat nite.. it was short, simple, but i was happy i was nvr this happy. everytime my hp ring i hope its u.. do u still have feelings for me? hai.. god must be punishin me for my past sins. it really hurts.. my chest hurts. i wish i cld let u go but i cant i really cant i need u dere for me. i miss the way u talk to me the way u care for me the way u call me silly when i wake up, i miss the way u bully me.. i miss everything abt u. everything gone in juz 1 day.. today 26th november 2005.. 1 mth ago it was this day we went clubbin it was the day we saw each other after so long.. and now 26th december we r back to the way it was mths ago.. 465 msgs.. i'll remember every single word u told me.. every u to every i meant everything to me. the day i left for thailand the email i send u.. i meant every thing i said dere.. i really dont wan to lose u.. i dont care if u choose some1 else instead of me, i dun care if ur back with ur ex.. but i cant accept this.. i really cant .. i know ur afraid of hurting me.. havin me end up with nothing.. i really dun care abt the future.. i really care abt now.. with u by my side im happy.. i can give u happinest too i assure u that. u juz have to trust me. give me 1 last chance, thats all i ask. since the day of the chalet, my feelings for u have been growin gettin stronger.. what if i told u now.. i didnt cry for over 2 years till recently.. thats because im really totally in love with u.. ur already apart of me now. the times we share together may be short.. but we shared happy times, sad times. what we gone thru this mth is enuff to tell me what sort of girl ur to me, i really dun wish to lose u.. lose this feeling we both shared. haiz u can tell me every guy always says tat and its all words.. if u give me the chance i'll prove u wrong.. what i feel for u aint a passing ting.. its real. u tell me u feel stress juz knowing im dere waitin for u.. but y.. that my choice. i choosed to wait thats cos i love u.. ur worth every second.. i wont regret it... even if i dont have u in the end at least i know i tried.. i was happy once.. but not lidat.. we shldnt end like this not now.. not lidat.. it aint right... i really wish i wld be together with u.. dont let this be the end.. plz? dont ignore me like this.. i know u still care for me and u still feel for me.. it shl't be lidat .. i really love u.. i really wish u cld see this.. u can call me stupid but i dun care.. i juz want u.. i love u.. destroy it?

[26 Dec 2005|01:23am] [ mood | sad ] haiz what can i do.. i dun wan u to feel stress and depressed anymore.. if im the source of tat problem.. than fine.. i'll go.. i will nvr 4get u.. i'll do anything so that u will be happy k.. stay happy. guess this is the end of the story. destroy it?

[25 Dec 2005|10:27pm] i really love u .. i really do.. dont do this to me k.. things nvr have to be so complicated.. i love u .. u have feelings for me too.. things must not end like this.. if ur not ready i will wait.. thats my choice im happy like this.. u dun have to feel stressed so what if i end up with nothin at least i tried at least u gave me a chance.. dun take away my last chance frm me k.. even if we dont meet its not ur fault. i understand u got sch to handle. i understand u wan to be with ur friends and be happy i understand ur really commited to ur ex. but y dun u give urself a chance juz 1 change k thats all i ask from u 1 chance to let me be the 1 to give u happinest i dun ask for u to do anything for me. i dun need u to be there 24hrs 7 times a week. i juz want things to be the way it was b4 i was really happy i beilive u were too. y shl we end it lidat.. i really dun wan to lose u at all k. stop tellin me things tat r not true ur not some1 like this. u treat realtionships very seriously, ur always honest with me, u cared for me, with u ard im always happy. i dun wan this to end... i SWEAR that i can be the 1 that make u happy i wont make u cry i will nvr break ur heart at all. all i ask is 1 chance k. juz 1 chance for me to make this right.. give me 1 chance and give urself 1 chance to be happy again k.. plz.. u really dun have to be stress.. u really dont k.. i juz wan things to be like b4 u were happy so was i. things were simple. i really love u.. i dun wan to lose u at all. juz 1 chance for me to make things right for u k.. plz.. i really dun wan to lose u i REALLY DONT WAN TO. lets tml's problems speak for itself what matters to me is now. as long as we r happy tts enuff for me. If u feel for me dun let me go pls.. we can go thru things together.. i'll always be there for u no matter what. love isnt all that complicated as long as we have each other. pls.. juz 1 last chance.. dun let this die. i really dont wan to. destroy it?

[23 Dec 2005|08:32pm] [ mood | crushed ] there goes all my plans washed away by the rain. destroy it?

[23 Dec 2005|12:53am] [ mood | confused ] 2 more days to christmas.. im so not in the festive mood.. destroy it?

[20 Dec 2005|02:45am] [ mood | good ] boo i love eating man must get fat =) destroy it?

[17 Dec 2005|12:55pm] [ mood | sad ] fcuk myself vic. wtf r u doin?! ASDSADSAFFGRETGERBTBFRSDQFBVCS$#%@ TREGDFGKDFGDSFDSADWE!@#KE!EVERQWV$_V TKE%QYT% EESARWQFDG hai.. destroy it?

[13 Dec 2005|09:57pm] [ mood | disappointed ] Back frm thailand, the trip sucks. i cant stop thinkin abt u. Your the 1st and last thing on my mind everyday. I really miss u.. when can i see u again? Hai.. im feelin really fuged up now... i really feelin fuggin useless i cant do anything to make u happy. Is it abt me? i really want to help u and be there for u. but i cant do that.. i really duno how. I feel useless, really useless. All i can do now is hope u'll tell me what happen. I really wished tat i didnt go overseas at all so i can be with u. I'm really pissed with myself. destroy it?

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